Effective communication skills distinguish great leaders in business and in politics.
Prime Minster Malcolm Turnbull says that it is “emotional intelligence” that distinguishes his leadership style recently in the Sydney Morning Herald. “The important thing is to have the emotional intelligence and the empathy and the imagination that enables you to walk in somebody else’s shoes,” he said when asked how he would relate to ordinary Australians.
Nicole Cullen, communications and conflict management expert was interviewed to get some tips on navigating successful communications at work.
Could you tell me a bit about yourself and your work in corporate communications?
I started corporate life as a litigation lawyer and it was there I learnt several communication skills that have served me well in subsequent roles:-
- The ability to write for different audiences
- An understanding of how to underwrite for someone else
- The ability to explain complex information in simple terms
- The art of reframing
After working as a lawyer, I worked in the Ombudsman sector, managing a national complaints scheme and I was also the Deputy Chairperson of the Superannuation Complaints Tribunal for 5 years.
I became a nationally accredited mediator as I was more interested to have real conversations around the table with conflicted parties than I was to engage in adversarial processes. 10 years ago, I started a boutique consulting firm “Cullaborate” which provides conflict resolution services including mediation, facilitation and training to corporate clients.
In your opinion, what is the biggest mistake that people make when it comes to communicating in the work place?
Having mediated countless workplace disputes, I would say the biggest mistake people make when communicating in the workplace is failing (or refusing) to give adequate consideration to the recipient and how to best get the message across. This is often due to a lack of training, poor role models, time pressures at work and so on.
To be a good communicator, you need to think about and understand the communication style, personality and preferences of the other person. Are they an introvert? An extrovert? Do they have visual or aural tendencies? Do they exhibit high conflict behaviours? Might they have a personality disorder? This is not to suggest that you need a psychology degree before communicating effectively at work. You simply need to observe behaviours (yours and theirs) and pay attention to what works and what doesn’t work when communicating.
One size does not fit all when it comes to communicating with different people at work and it pays to think about what the other person needs (ie their underlying interests). The CEO wants an executive summary and if there is time, an interesting story. Storytelling in business is a popular way to connect with audiences and support key corporate messages. The internal auditor has an ear for risk and compliance and is generally keen to engage. The sales person wants the good news fast, the social media manager is currently online and the receptionist wants to know that you are a nice person.
The reason I say that not anticipating your audience is the biggest communication mistake is because so many of the workplace disputes I help to resolve arise out of misunderstandings, miscommunications and failures to connect effectively with the other person. These misunderstandings need not have happened if the communication style and preferences of the other person had been anticipated and accommodated in order to get the message across.
That’s not to say you have to like the other person, accept all of their views or become their best friend at work. Many managers I coach say they simply don’t want to socialise with the members of their team and they have clear boundaries around their work life and personal life. The downside is that team members have intuitive radars for managers who leave their people skills at home, they end up feeling alienated at work and generally have the time and inclination to engage in warfare at the water cooler. The next thing on the agenda is sick leave followed by a workplace mediation, a possible bullying claim and/or work cover application. It always goes to show me how a little rapport goes a long way to build trust and support effective communication in a working relationship.
What makes workplace communication positive and successful? What can hinder successful communication?
The first and I believe, indispensable step in any workplace communication is to establish rapport. There are a number of ways you can quickly do this. Body language is particularly important and you can subtly mirror the other person’s stance (so long as they are not exhibiting negative behaviours such as thumping a table etc). Be aware of your physical space and the other person’s comfort zone and space requirements.
Some rules of thumb include getting to the same physical level as the other person. So if they are sitting, try to find a chair too. If they are standing, then you stand. I am always conscious if I am standing on a step, nature strip or other slightly elevated landing and the other person is at a lower or ground level (unless they are 6 foot 4, in which case it’s a nice levelling). It is so respectful to move to the same level as the other person.
“A fail proof strategy for effective communication is to learn about framing”
Managers need to motivate people to achieve goals and the ability to frame an issue effectively is critical.
What exactly does it mean to “frame” or “reframe” an issue? If you think about the metaphor behind the concept, a frame focuses attention on the painting it surrounds. Different frames draw out different aspects of the painting. A red frame will bring out the red in the painting. A blue frame will bring out the blue. How you frame an issue influences how others see it and focuses their attention on the aspects you are highlighting.
Framing will help you to target a communication to a specific audience. For example, if you would like the conversation to be about improving a relationship, you might start by saying “I wonder if you have time this afternoon to talk about our working relationship and your thoughts on how we can each contribute to (a project etc).” If you want the conversation to be about exploring options, you might frame it by saying “are you free to discuss the options we have moving forwards?” Although conceptually, “framing” seems pretty straightforward, the reality is that it is under done in the workplace.
What sorts of things do good leaders need to be able to say or communicate to their employees? (i.e. could you give some examples of common situations or phrases)
Firstly, its not all about what you say. Listening is key. Through body language, non-verbal communications, use of silence, reflection and careful questioning, leaders can learn a lot without saying or communicating much at all.
Successful communication is hindered by failing to listen. If you approach a workplace communication with your message ready to deliver, but you fail to listen to the other person, then you have lost an opportunity. You have missed information about the other persons needs that could have led you to an expanded range of options for consideration. I believe that some people lose sight of their own needs (and have no interest in the other’s needs) in the face of conflict. Opposing the other person becomes the main game. “Interests based” processes such as mediation can assist parties to get back to conversing about the things that really matter.
Using the other person’s name is a great start. For maximum effect, use their name a few times in conversation. The same applies for email. If you can incorporate the other person’s name into the email more than once, this is very engaging for the reader. If it is an unusual name, ask for guidance on the pronunciation and practice it out loud. There is nothing more respectful than correct pronunciation of a difficult name and this is guaranteed to build rapport. The opposite applies – so if you use the wrong name when addressing someone at work or if you incorrectly pronounce the name then you will breach the rapport you are trying to build.
I was working with 2 male managers recently. One would email the other
“Hi Ewan,
(email content)
Kind regards Dave.”
The second manager would launch into his email communication without any name salutation at all and without signing off at the end (other than his corporate signature).
“We need to review our resource allocation immediately”
Ewan Smith
Senior Manager etc
After some coaching, the second manager began to write the other manager’s name in emails and he also included a sign off line such as “regards” before this own name (rather than just his corporate signature). This simple act had a positive effect on their working relationship.
Another communication strategy that could be deployed more in workplaces is to acknowledge emotion. For example, just acknowledging emotion by saying something like “that sounds stressful” or “that must be annoying.” Leaders who acknowledge emotion find that their conversations are deeper, more connected and ultimately generate better results.
Finally, asking good open questions is a respectful way to help the other person to develop and nominate options. For example, by asking “what are your thoughts on this?” or “what are the challenges in your view?” you will build a better working relationship. A person who is acting within their chosen option is generally engaged, collaborative and proactive.
Mindful use of these communication strategies will assist you to build engagement and consensus at work.
